Life is too short to waste the currency of time doing anything which serves only to make you miserable and yet far too many of us do just that as we concentrate on merely surviving as opposed to thriving each day
Day in. Day Out!
What is it that holds such sway over us that we are paralyzed by the inability to change the way we live & work?
Why do we steadfastly remain in negative or toxic situations, relationships and careers that undermine our confidence and our self-esteem whilst at the same time sabotaging our goals, dreams and aspirations?
Ever single day we all of us faced with countless difficult situations which require us to make equally difficult decisions and choices and for many of us we don’t see life for the adventure that it’s meant to be and we certainly wouldn’t ever think to view those same situations as opportunities to be embraced and learned from. No instead we view them as obstacles and challenges, barriers if you will, which will prevent us from achieving something i some why as a result
WHY? – Simple just one word – FEAR!
The fear of what though? Making mistakes, failure, lack, the opinions of others or maybe change?
In reality it could be a combination of any or all of them, so lets put things into perspective shall we?
When we make mistakes and we all do from time to time, it’s important to take time to pause and reflect on what you could have done better? Note I purposely didn’t say what went wrong!
The key thing to remember about mistakes is – there aren’t any!
There are only opportunities to learn what doesn’t work, which in and of themselves will by definition take you closer to where you wish to be. If something doesn’t work out, view it from a different angle and start again. There is always more than one way to achieve a goal or dream and when you adopt this viewpoint as a consistent habit then you will begin to see the results you desire.
The fear of failure often appears in synergy with the fear of making mistakes and yet the word itself – Failure – is so much more powerful than that of mistake but why?
Well in order to be defined as a failure it would by association naturally imply a lack of success which for far too many of us we see as a shameful experience. What we rarely ever remember is that for those of us who are, in order to actually become successful we have already experienced ‘failure’ many times.
Yet the fear of being defined by others as a failure is largely what prevents us from even trying to achieve something in the first place, simply because we care what our loved ones, peers and colleagues think of us. What we lose sight of is that if it takes us longer and down more avenues than we expected to get there it doesn’t mean that we are failing in anyway. If anything it proves the opposite in that we are persistent and determined enough to achieve what we set out to do which is a very successful trait to have and ultimately it will take us to the golden egg we seek as long as we have self-belief.
As for what everyone else thinks?
Anything can have the power to prevent us from achieving our goals and dreams, the opinions of others being just one of them. By acknowledging that they have the right to their opinion but at the same time realising what anyone thinks of us is none of our business we can reclaim the power we had unwittingly surrendered and the perceived fear of failure in the eyes of another fades away as sure as melting snow.
We all of us have the inherent power of choice and we can choose to make the choice to change anything we want at anytime. We simply have to overcome the paralysis by utilizing the most powerful tool we own – our mind – and become aware of what it is telling us, or to be more precise what we allow it to tell us!
Think about it, how many times a day do you catch yourself or others in the act of negative self-talk, you know the sort I mean, we tell ourselves all the time; it’s too late to do that, I’m too old, I couldn’t possibly and so on.
Yet we forget the all important factor in all this – choice – and the first choice to make in the face of our fears is for us to take the chance, to choose, to change
We can choose to make a start by changing the way we both think and talk to ourselves
However we should never lose sight of the fact that fear in and of itself is a real emotion and it manifests itself in ways which can and indeed do prevent us from living the lives we want to live but are too afraid to do so.
If we reach a point where the story which we tell ourselves ‘ I can’t do – X – because then – Y – will happen’ has become our norm?
Then we have allowed our negative self-talk to create a self-fulfilling reality, one where the story we have told ourselves so often has become a solid belief and because we believe it, it is as far as we are concerned real and thus we don’t hold ourselves accountable for or question that we could change the situation.
Because it has become the excuse we use, to give ourselves the permission we need, to remain firmly inside the bubble we’ve created for ourselves, wrapped in the safety net of our comfort zone and yet even though that same comfort zone may well be a less than an ideal choice, it’s a better choice than having to admit we’ve failed or subject ourselves to scrutiny by those who would deem us failures and so on!
To be brutally honest far too many of us end up staying there by default because we are subconsciously willing to allow life to just happen to us instead of going out and grabbing it by the scruff of the neck! But until we realise that we are the only ones responsible for manifesting the change we wish to see in our lives then we will remain forever stuck in the limbo of misery we have succumbed so freely to this far.
Remember that there isn’t anything you can’t do, say or become if you choose to make it happen
Not your age. Not your gender. Not your education. Not your financial situation. Nothing. Not one, single thing. Again, why? Simple – there is always, always more than one one to do anything and it’s up to you to find yours!
When you think you’ve gone as far as you can go – go on
When you think you know it all – learn something
When you think you’re done growing – grow some more
When you think you’ve failed for the last time – try again
Because we are only ever one decision, one choice away from achieving whatever we want
You are the one who has the key to and control over your mind!
You alone have the power to create the life you desire and you should exercise that right with every waking second because this is your life.
There are no refunds, no overdrafts and very definitely no second chances because this life of ours is very definitely not a rehearsal.
How you see your future is much more important than how you remember your past or what’s happening in your present. If you want anything enough you will realise that fear really is nothing more than a link between our current & future realities.
So tell me again the story of why you aren’t living the reality of your dreams?